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INTERNATIONAL RESCUE?

It’s the international break but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. There are, of course, crunch playoffs for the Geopolitics World Cup – if anyone actually wants to be there – in Europe and over in Mexico. But for the rest, this is a chance to rip up the rulebook and play whoever the hell they like. Those heading to North America in the summer have to keep things semi-serious. England have got Wembley friendlies against Uruguay and Japan. Fine. Brazil are in the USA USA USA to play France and Croatia. Check. The defending champions, Argentina, had their Finalissima against Spain in Qatar cancelled because of the threat of rogue missiles and have scheduled friendlies against anyone that was available, namely Mauritania (115th in the world) and Zambia (a lofty 91st). Spain clearly had a better agent and have booked Serbia and Egypt. But these are a mere sideshow to the Fifa Series 2026, a set of village fetes dotted across the globe, pitting nations from different continents against each other in four-team tournaments.

This is the second edition of the Fifa Series – how can it live up to 2024, eh? – which Gianni Infantino himself has deigned to say “is about unlocking development potential for players, coaches and fans, while promoting football’s universality and diversity through meaningful matches”. Finally, the development potential us fans have been crying out for. Fortunately none of these mini-tournaments are being hosted by a country that is bombing one of its fellow participants. Puerto Rico is the stage for the Fifa Series curtain-raiser as the US Virgin Islands take on American Samoa on Tuesday. Puerto Rico, coached by the Gainsborough Trinity legend Charlie Trout, get their tournament under way against Guam later in the evening. Spot the link there. Focus then turns to Rwanda on Wednesday with the blockbuster double-header of Aruba v Macau and Tanzania v Liechtenstein in Kigali. “We want to have more extended spells in possession,” cried the Liechtenstein skipper Nicolas Hasler this week, so hopefully it’s worth the flight, vaccination checks and anti-malaria medication for a bit of keep-ball on the edge of the Tanzania box. Estonia are also on their way to Kigali to renew their age-old rivalry with Kenya. Grenada or buoyant hosts Rwanda await in the final.

And if you like big lists of fixtures there’s so much more the Fifa Series has to offer. There’s China v Curaçao in Sydney. Don’t forget the Solomon Islands v Bulgaria in Jakarta. Auckland’s Eden Park will host Cape Verde v Chile. Set your clocks for Venezuela v Trinidad & Tobago in Uzbekistan. We’re not making these up. In the space of a few days, St Kitts and Nevis’s Ruben Freeman will swap Sporting Club Inkbarrow’s Sands Road (1,000 seats) in England’s eighth tier for the Gelora Bung Karno Stadium (77,000 seats) in Indonesia. “By connecting nations through competition, the Fifa Series aims to strengthen the game at every level – bringing local communities to the global stage,” gushes Infantino about his latest creation. Kuwait and Oman have had to pull out of their trips to Azerbaijan and Kazakhstan because of, in (large) part, the consequences of the actions of Fifa’s peace prize winner. Away from Fifa-sanctioned mix-and-matching, Haiti and Iceland are an unlikely couple in a Toronto friendly. The void caused by the absence of Genoa or Sampdoria fixtures at the Stadio Luigi Ferraris can be filled by going along to Algeria v Guatemala on Friday night. Have you had enough now?

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm (GMT) for updates on Arsenal 1-0 Chelsea in the first leg of the Women’s Bigger Cup quarter-final at the Emirates.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“We feel it’s an injustice, not just for us but all the others as well. I just feel really sad about it. I feel helpless and hopeless” – Manchester United fan Tony Riley, 76, reacts to news that he is among 1,100 supporters forced to move from his Old Trafford seat his family have held since just after the second world war because of cash-boosting corporate plans overseen by Big Sir Jim Ratcliffe.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

After reading Peter Harris’s letter about his walk home from the football (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), I was inspired to find out more. I phoned up my local rambling society … but the guy just went on and on” – James Vortkamp-Tong.

I take it Peter has not enjoyed the pedestrian pathway from the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium to Seven Sisters underground. Two hours of woe followed by a race walk/jog down to closest tube station. Stunning” – Chris Brown.

Re: football’s capacity for generating Shakespearean quotes (yesterday’s letters). Presumably more than one striker, when bearing down on the Liverpool defence back in the late-2000s/early-2010s, would ask himself: ‘Is this a D Agger which I see before me?’” – Andy Korman.

In King Lear Act 1 Scene 4, the Bard remarks: ‘Nor tripped neither, you base football player.’ Clear proof that diving took place as early as 1605” – Max Maxwell.

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day is … Max Maxwell. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.

RECOMMENDED LOOKING

Here’s David Squires on … the Milk Cup final, featuring bonus appearances from Reg Holdsworth and Sol Campbell.

RECOMMENDED VIEWING

Good sport of the day: Claudia Morelli of Parma Women’s second team, who deliberately missed her penalty against Hic Sunt Leones after it was wrongly awarded by the referee. Parma went on to win 9-1, completing an unbeaten season and clinching the league title.

BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA V BRØNDBY?

If you’ve been wondering how Steve Cooper is getting on in Denmark then it’s your lucky day. The former Swansea and Nottingham Forest manager is at Brøndby these days in case you haven’t been keeping up, and he’s been having a rocky time of it. Having overseen a nine-game winless run he could have been forgiven for having painful Leicester flashbacks, with flak being flung his way from all directions. But even he must have been taken aback when he received criticism from Bosnia-Herzegovina’s manager on Monday. Yep, Sergej Barbarez used his press conference to accuse Cooper of dropping midfielder Benjamin Tahirovic to benefit Wales in Thursday’s World Cup playoff. You see, bright spark Barbarez has seemingly worked out that Cooper is from Pontypridd and joined two very random dots.

“Benjo has told me some things that are hard to believe. It has something to do with his coach’s origin,” he blathered. “When your coach wishes you, but not your national team, good luck, it leaves room for thought. He [Cooper] has told him that everything will return to normal after the national team season. I am not like that, I love and value sport and competition more.” Brøndby’s communications director was quick to hammer out a club statement in response. “This is quite a far-reaching speculation,” parped Søren Hanghøj. “Steve has publicly stated the considerations behind the decision – and none of them have the slightest connection with either national team. That goes without saying. It is a club decision that has been made jointly by an entire coaching team and the sporting management. And there are not that many Wales fans in Brøndby after all.” Cooper has since received a grovelling apology from Barbarez and is clear to focus his mind on how to get Brøndby winning games again.

MOVING THE GOALPOSTS

The latest edition of our sister email looks at the emergence of the Brazil women’s blind team and their fourth-place finish at the world championship.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Football Supporters Europe has filed a formal complaint against Fifa over “excessive ticket prices” at this summer’s Geopolitics World Cup.

Sebastian Coe has warned that London’s bid for the 2029 World Athletics Championships could be scuppered by West Ham’s refusal to allow their stadium to be used in September.

Jürgen Klopp has poured a big glass of cold Erdinger over rumours linking him with Real Madrid. “That’s all nonsense,” he roared. “They haven’t called even once – not once. My [Mr 15%] is there, you can ask him. They haven’t called him either. Right now I’m not thinking about that. Luckily, there’s no reason to.”

Lens are feeling fresh and funky after PSG’s request to postpone their potential Ligue 1 title decider on 11 April to allow for better preparation for their Bigger Cup quarter-final with Liverpool. “A worrying sentiment is taking hold: that of a French league gradually being relegated to the status of an adjustment variable at the whim of certain parties’ European imperatives,” roared a Lens statement. “On its own turf, the league sometimes seems to be relegated to second place behind other ambitions, however legitimate they may be.”

USA USA USA boss Mauricio Pochettino says he misses England. “I love the country, its culture, the football culture,” he sniffed in an interview with L’Equipe. “For anyone with a competitive spirit who wants to measure themselves against others and test their abilities, it’s the ideal place.” Would he still miss it if Spurs were relegated, though?

And Atlético Madrid’s Antoine Griezmann, 78, is moving to Orlando City this summer, baby! “I look forward to making Orlando my new home, meeting the supporters, feeling the energy at Inter&Co Stadium, and giving everything,” whooped Griezmann.

STILL WANT MORE?

Alessia Russo gets her chat on with Suzanne Wrack about feeling happy and calm going into Arsenal’s Women’s Bigger Cup tie against Chelsea.

Louise Taylor casts a critical eye over the state of Newcastle’s increasingly dampening squib of a season after their derby defeat by Sunderland.

David Hytner on how the stars have aligned for Ben White to end his long England exile.

“It’s a good thing I don’t have a job at the moment”: Luke Entwistle reports on the fantastical World Cup journey of New Caledonia’s players as they prepare for a GWC playoff against Jamaica.

And John Duerden explains how the conflict in the Middle East is affecting football in the region as the GWC approaches.

MEMORY LANE

A boys’ night out to Wigan Casino? Not quite. As the driver enjoys one last pre-journey snout, the England team prepare to board their coach for the short ride to a Wembley friendly against Austria in 1973. The 7-0 victory would be Alf Ramsey’s last in charge of England: the Poland debacle came one month later, and by early 1974 the great man was gone.

‘DIAL UP MY NUMBER NOW …’